Refusing to be Silent

                                                        

                                                                        By Neal Lemery

            “Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.” --- Martin Luther King Jr.

            It is often easy to turn away, to not confront someone on their opinion, or their actions.  At least, it seems easy in the moment.  There’s no confrontation, there’s no risk of an awkward moment, or feeling uncomfortable. 

            “Just go with the flow,” I can tell myself.  “Make life easier.” 

            But not really.  I’m left with the moral dilemma, the emotional twinge of not speaking up, of letting my silence pass for tacit consent and agreement, of not taking on a challenging subject and having at least a conversation, and sometimes a healthy debate or discussion about something that is important. 

            In those awkward situations, I am often left wondering what I really stand for, what I am really about.  If I let an awkward moment go by, and I remain silent, am I really passively agreeing with the holder of that opinion, am I really furthering the values of bigotry, racism, intolerance, and ignorance?  Am I being true to myself and my own personal integrity and beliefs? 

            I sometimes don’t stick up for myself, and the values I seek to exhibit to the world.  I have a voice, a mind, a wealth of experiences and education, and I have something to say.  Not that I strive to be obnoxious and abrupt, or domineering, but I’m living on earth so I can help make the world a better, more loving and charitable place.  When I let hatred or harmful words go unaddressed, I fear that others will think that I agree, or at the least, acquiesce in those beliefs. 

            That is not who I am, and those aren’t the ideas I want to have expressed go unchallenged.  At the core of my existence, I have purpose and intention, and I should speak up for myself, and hold true to the values and ethics that I hold dear. 

            Not that I should be obnoxious or oppressive in what I have to say, as that response, that attitude is also contrary to my fundamental core beliefs and thinking.  And, that attitude, that response is not what I want to show to others, what I want to teach, what I represent.  Instead, I want to represent to others my beliefs in being kind, in being charitable, accepting, that I am a teacher of respect and a builder of good, healthy humanity.  I want to be a community builder, and not a commentator spreading ill will, hatred, and intolerance.  There’s too much of that attitude in the world, and part of the real me is obligated to change that. 

            My silence should not be taken as acceptance, as acquiescence.  Instead of being the wall flower, or the quiet follower of ideas that are morally repugnant to me, I should find my voice, express my core values, and speak truth.  And, not do that with self-righteousness or arrogance, but with kindness, gentleness, and persuasiveness.  By modeling that, by being a communicator with humanity, I am also a teacher of the values I hold dearly, what I should be sharing with the world. 

            In that work, I am a champion of acceptance, tolerance, and the advancement of everyone so that they can succeed, and do better at the work that we are all called to do in our lives.  I need to look hard at myself, be truthful in my assessment of my responses to others, to ensure that I am truly doing the work I need to be doing, to be true to myself, to be a caretaker and lover of this work and my community.